©Family Caregiver Alliance
Caring for a loved one with dementia poses many challenges for
families and caregivers. People with dementia from conditions such as
Alzheimer’s and related diseases have a progressive brain disorder that makes it
more and more difficult for them to remember things, think clearly, communicate
with others, or take care of themselves. In addition, dementia can cause mood
swings and even change a person’s personality and behavior. This Fact Sheet
provides some practical strategies for dealing with the troubling behavior
problems and communication difficulties often encountered when caring for a
person with dementia.
Ten Tips for Communicating with a Person with Dementia
We aren’t born knowing how to communicate with a person with dementia—but we can
learn. Improving your communication skills will help make caregiv-ing less
stressful and will likely improve the quality of your relationship with your
loved one. Good communication skills will also enhance your ability to handle
the difficult behavior you may encounter as you care for a person with a
dementing illness.
1. Set a positive mood for interaction. Your attitude and body language
communicate your feelings and thoughts stronger than your words. Set a positive
mood by speaking to your loved one in a pleasant and respectful manner. Use
facial expressions, tone of voice and physical touch to help convey your message
and show your feelings of affection.
2. Get the person’s attention. Limit distractions and noise—turn off the radio
or TV, close the curtains or shut the door, or move to quieter sur-roundings.
Before speaking, make sure you have her attention; address her by name, identify
yourself by name and relation, and use nonver-bal cues and touch to help keep
her focused. If she is seated, get down to her level and maintain eye contact.
3. State your message clearly. Use simple words and sentences. Speak slowly,
distinctly and in a reassuring tone. Refrain from raising your voice higher or
louder; instead, pitch your voice lower. If she doesn’t understand the first
time, use the same wording to repeat your message or ques-tion. If she still
doesn’t understand, wait a few minutes and rephrase the question. Use the names
of people and places instead of pronouns or abbreviations.
4. Ask simple, answerable questions. Ask one question at a time; those with yes
or no answers work best. Refrain from asking open-ended ques-tions or giving too
many choices. For example, ask, “Would you like to wear your white shirt or your
blue shirt?” Better still, show her the choices—visual prompts and cues also
help clar-ify your question and can guide her response.
5. Listen with your ears, eyes and heart. Be patient in waiting for your loved
one’s reply. If she is struggling for an answer, it’s okay to suggest words.
Watch for nonverbal cues and body language, and respond appropriately. Always
strive to listen for the meaning and feelings that underlie the words.
6. Break down activities into a series of steps. This makes many tasks much more
manageable. You can encourage your loved one to do what he can, gently remind
him of steps he tends to forget, and assist with steps he’s no longer able to
accomplish on his own. Using visual cues, such as showing him with your hand
where to place the dinner plate, can be very helpful.
7. When the going gets tough, distract and redirect. When your loved one becomes
upset, try changing the subject or the environment. For example, ask him for
help or suggest going for a walk. It is important to connect with the person on
a feeling level, before you redirect. You might say, “I see you’re feeling
sad—I’m sorry you’re upset. Let’s go get something to eat.”
8. Respond with affection and reassurance. People with dementia often feel
confused, anxious and unsure of themselves. Further, they often get reality
confused and may recall things that never really occurred. Avoid trying to
convince them they are wrong. Stay focused on the feelings they are
demonstrating (which are real) and respond with verbal and physical expressions
of comfort, support and reassurance. Sometimes holding hands, touching, hugging
and praise will get the person to respond when all else fails.
9. Remember the good old days. Remembering the past is often a soothing and
affirming activity. Many people with dementia may not remember what happened 45
minutes ago, but they can clearly recall their lives 45 years earlier.
Therefore, avoid asking questions that rely on short-term memory, such as asking
the person what they had for lunch. Instead, try asking general questions about
the person’s distant past—this information is more likely to be retained.
10. Maintain your sense of humor. Use humor whenever possible, though not at the
person's expense. People with dementia tend to retain their social skills and
are usually delighted to laugh along with you.
BACK TO CALS CORNER
HOME
MGM
© ALS Independence 2003-10