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Last update: 09 November 2003

Tom Davis' fight with terminal disease comes to an end
Family allowed reporter to chronicle final months


Staff Writer

 

ORMOND BEACH FLORIDA -- Only last Monday, Tom Davis looked well, still eager to plant one of those signature bear hugs on any visitor, no matter how young or old.


His smiling eyes reflected none of the pain that would follow in the coming week.

Sunday at 6:12 a.m. Nov. 9, 2003, Davis died. Family members and friends who spent the final hours by his side say death came peacefully.

Davis, 72, had lost his 18-month battle with ALS, better known as Lou Gehrig's disease.

But his was not a story of self-pity. It was a saga of courage, the ultimate lesson from a former math professor about how to live with dignity in the face of death.

Davis and his wife, Kathy, wanted others to know that love, faith and hope can grow stronger even when life's worst hand is dealt to a blind woman who suddenly becomes the primary caregiver to a man with a horrific, terminal illness.

What followed was a 6-part series in The Daytona Beach News-Journal called "'Til Death Do Us Part" that began in Dec. 2002. The stories dealt with everything from the fear of leaving behind loved ones to the joy of riding in a motorcycle scavenger hunt to the importance of having faith.

"I was praying that the good Lord would take him home," Kathy tells one of a steady stream of callers Sunday morning. "My prayers were answered."

So were those of other family members and friends who knew Davis' physical condition with ALS could only worsen in the forthcoming months, leaving him unable to move, even while his mind remained lucid.

Once an avid tennis player, Davis already was struggling to speak and walk in recent weeks. By Friday, he was bedridden and losing consciousness. His eyes were closed and his breathing was labored.

He communicated by weakly lifting a finger and pointing to pre-written requests on a board that included: "I'm hungry." "Please pray." "I love you."

"The last few days he went downhill real fast. I just didn't suspect it would be this soon," Kathy says. "None of us did."

A hospice nurse awoke the family, telling them the end was near.

"I just put my face on his neck and told him how much I loved him," Kathy says tearfully. "We were there when he took his last breath."

A religious man, Davis' biggest concern was not death, but leaving his wife alone.

But Kathy is anything but alone.

There are many friends, people such as Richard Sprague, who gave the better part of the last 18 months to helping the couple.

"I did what I needed to do," he says, "because he was my friend."

Sprague spent the wee hours of Sunday morning praying and reading alone to Davis, until right before dawn.

"I said my goodbyes last night. I knew he was going," Sprague says, struggling to hold back the tears just minutes after losing his close friend. "I just asked God, if You are going to take him, then go on and take him. Don't let him suffer. He was peaceful all night."

Sprague, a fellow parishioner at Tomoka Christian Church, says Davis taught him a lot about living and dying with grace.

"It was appropriate he died on a Sunday," he says. "It's the way it should have been."

ray.weiss.@news-jrnl.com

"You must either modify your dreams or magnify your skills." Jim Rohn

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