From the time my daughter Heather started Junior High School in an adjoining town somewhat larger than our small village, she started making new friends, participating in different activities, and thought the whole adventure was "awesome Mom, just awesome".

One of the students she met that first year is a beloved friend of hers to this very day. Before she went to the Junior High she knew of this young girl, the same age as herself, and had seen her often around town, and at the ski hill. She seemed very interested in this delightful high-spirited girl, and was drawn to her in a strong and unexplainable way. In turn this girl, named Tatum Ruffell, was curiously drawn to her. They found as the weeks went by that they enjoyed each other, had lots to talk about, laughed at the same things, and had much to share even though their cultures were entirely different. And share they did, and they still do. Both are young married women now and live thousands of miles apart. But the bond still remains.

The Grade Seven student Heather had developed this wonderful friendship with was a dark haired, blue eyed, kind, upbeat girl. Tatum was of Lebanese and British Heritage, and they talked about the war in Lebanon, the strange fact that Tatum was of Lebanese descent on her mothers’ side and had her mothers’ dark hair, yet had her British fathers’ very blue eyes. Tatums’ parents own a clothing store and Bridal Shop in the town, and brides came from far away to have Tatums’ mother help them choose a wedding dress. Mary is a warm, generous, woman, and goes the distance to please her clients. The business is named ‘Tatums House of Fashion’, and Tatum herself is now doing much of the work her mother used to do. The business is to be hers and her Mother has groomed her toward that goal.

Heather shares the same sense of humor as Tatum, but her heritage was that of Newfoundland and of the sea. Although Nova Scotia born, she has a strong Newfoundland ancestry. She also has the bewildering way of the Newfoundlander in being able to make people laugh, something Tatum loved. Heather danced through life with a boundless carefree attitude, and was a direct contrast to Tatums’ emotional persona. If Tatum had an ‘emotional storm’, as they both called it, Heather was the one who could fix it and find the way to jest at it, therefore helping Tatum. Together they found common ground and a love for each other that they shared and will continue to share throughout their lives.

Making marathon phone calls, renting movies, coloring their hair, learning different recipes from each other, getting their drivers’ licences, moving up to higher grades, each having a different circle of friends that they somehow managed to combine, made life interesting indeed. There was nothing these two friends would not tackle, given the opportunity. The bond between them was strong, and very evident to everyone who knew them.

I knew Tatums’ Mom. We talked often when I shopped at her store, or on the phone when I would call for Heather. Mary works hard, and tells the story of her Dad coming to Canada from Lebanon, going door to door, day after day, with blistered hands and feet, selling goods from a suitcase. From that grueling beginning, and with a strong work ethic, he had built his salesmanship into a substantial business concern. Mary is very much like him. Work is no problem for her .She also adheres to her Muslim faith and practices, and her husband carries on with his non-Muslim way of life, and it works just fine.

One day Mary and I fell into a discussion of where we had lived, when the kids were born and where, just casual conversation. An amazing fact soon revealed itself to us!! It caused us to stare at each other for a moment and then express our surprise. When we put it all together, the explanation of this strange, strong, loyal friendship of our daughters became quite clear. They would have been in the same hospital baby nursery following their births! Both girls were born the week of April 21^st, 1975, and, unbeknownst to us, we were in the hospital in Lunenburg for the birth of our daughters at the same time. Yet we knew nothing of each other at the time.

Now, fourteen years later, over a clothes rack on a cold winter day, in a offhand conversation, we had a moment of clarity! The girls had a ‘nursery connection’-and had known each other when they were just days old. It was just all so clear now. The connection was renewing itself between them.

We talked to the girls about it, and they somehow seemed to know that they had known each other before, or so it appeared.

"Heather did you know that you and Tatum were in the baby nursery together in Lunenburg when you were born?", I tried to casually ask later that day.

"Yes, sure, we know that! C’mon Mom, we’re not that stupid!" was her reply.

I reported the conversation to Mary, and she had received the same response from Tatum. So it was decided that we were the females in this foursome that lacked the ability to figure things out. So be it, life goes on! The girls were not excitable, or emotional, they just knew it, and that was that. Their ‘nursery connection’ had created some sort of bond that they understood and we did not. They continued on with their enjoyment of life and all it offered as they grew into womanhood. They shared tears, fears, sorrows and joys. And still do.

Heather went to University, then moved to Alberta. Tatum is still in Windsor, Nova Scotia, preparing for life in the business world. After Heather left Tatum continued to visit and call us. She and her mother would drop by, and it always made me a feel that Heather was closer to me. I missed her so much, but I still had Tatum.

Then came time for Heathers’ wedding. Naturally Mary and Tatum were unbelievable in their support and help with the preparations. Tatum was Maid of Honor of course. They were all beautiful as the bride and her four special friends prepared and planned, partied and traveled, and finally presented to the guests a beautiful wedding. Mary had taught Tatum well. There was not a snag in the whole affair. Their wide smiles and amazing happiness at being together again, and for a wedding, made them sparkle. Anytime I could not understand something and would question it, my daughter would tell me not to worry.

"Tatum and I have the Lebanese trade agreement!" she would say. To this day Mary and I have no idea what that ‘agreement’ is, and probably never will.

Tatum is Mrs. Steve Smiley now, and she and her husband have their own home. But Heather and Tatum still talk on the phone, send e-mails, buy gifts for each other, and that ‘nursery connection’ remains secure. The friendship they share is exceptional. Even if they are displeased with one another, it never lasts, as these young women are candid and frank, and hold no grudges. They learned from each other how to accept another culture, and how to share their own.

Two beautiful dark-haired baby girls, a small community hospital nursery, two mothers who never knew each other, two different faiths, two diverse histories, turned into one intense friendship. Though thousands of miles separate us all now, it seems that the ‘Lunenburg, Nova Scotia, Fishermen s’ Memorial Hospital Nursery Connection’ is a very special, very mystifying, but started a beautiful blush of friendship. And who can ask for more than that? May their friendship continue their whole life long, as I am sure it will.

Bonnie Jarvis-Lowe

Heathers' Mom and Tatums Friend!

"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." Nelson Mandela

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