•  I HAVE LOVED YOU MY CHILD 

"The possibilities are unlimited as long as you are true to your life's purpose." Marcia Wieder

•  GOD BLESS YOU MOM AND DAD

"We are only young once. That is all society can stand." Bob Bowen

•  I LOVE YOU FATHER  

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved." J. Macdonald

•  MY BATTLE 

"Sharing is sometimes more demanding than giving." Mary Catherine Bateson

•   YOU ARE PART OF ME  

"To most of us real life is the life we do not lead." Oscar Wilde

•   LOVE IS 

"If you're gonna be a failure, at least be one at something you enjoy." Sylvester Stallone

•   MY MEMORY 

"The delights of self-discovery are always available." Gail Sheehy

•   I LOVE YOU MY CHILD 

"A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well for the body."           

Margaret Fuller

•   MY GIFT 

"There's a thread that binds us all of us together, pull one end of the thread, the strain is felt all down the line." Rosamond Marshall

•   GRANDPA 

"Life is lived in common, but not in community." Michael Harrington

•   IF 

"We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone." Dr. Loretta Scott

•   I WILL REMEMBER YOU  

"If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it." Calvin Coolidge

Millie’s Story

Grande Prairie, June, 2003


It was to be Grande Prairie’s first Relay For Life! I felt a strong conviction within me to follow my written words; the words of "My Battle" (below) that I had written five years before. In my heart, I would carry HOPE for my family who were survivors; as well as my friends. I would carry the memory of loved ones I had lost to cancer…the memory of my father who I lost to leukemia at the age of 33. I was 6 years old. My precious Aunt Marge held me that day and promised me that if I looked up at the sky on a dark night and found the brightest twinkling star that it would really be my Daddy polishing the glass of the star to watch over me. So I was a child who watched stars at night and at times rainbows during the day. I lost Aunt Marge to cancer when she was 39 years of age. I had just given birth to my first son, Darren, and in my heart, I silently pleaded "no more".

I was blessed in being given a stepfather to raise me. He became my Daddy and raised me with love. Dad had promised us that he would take care of our family. He loved the color of "Robin Egg" blue. Many times he found abandoned robin eggs on our farm and gently carried them to my mother. He loved nature and he loved our family. My second son, Ryan, was born into the world of that love.

When Darren was 14 and Ryan was 9, Dad silently left us after being diagnosed with lung cancer and Alzheimer’s disease. I silently pleaded "no more!" I grieved. My sons grieved. My family grieved. In the years to follow, I was to plead those words again and again when my mother was diagnosed with uterine cancer.

I made the long trip to Canmore a few years later, my dear Aunt Janet had been diagnosed with breast cancer. My memory took me back to my last visit just after Dad had passed away. My mother and I were attending the wedding of Aunt Janet’s daughter, Janice. It rained in the mountains that late afternoon. Mother and I were still feeling the loss of Dad on the special day.

I watched the rain in silence for a while; my heart filled with my sadness and memories. Then, just as quickly as it started, the rain stopped and rays of sunshine came through the clouds! And I smiled, as I gazed across the sky. "Mother, Dad is with us" I whispered to my mother. She followed my gaze and we both fought back tears as we witnessed the most beautiful rainbow I had ever seen! It arced from one mountain peak toward another. Our family gazed at the perfection; we believed that this was a sign that our loved ones were truly with us, watching over us!

It was during my Aunt’s Janet’s cancer treatment that my son, Darren lost his 20 year old friend Mike to cancer. I became numb and I could offer no explanation to Darren. I couldn’t answer his "why"! I silently pleaded "No more God"! The following September, I found myself on my knees, in the middle of my living room floor. I screamed from the depths of my soul! "No more!" My son, Ryan had just been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma at the age of 20.

I could no longer plead in silence, I cried out to the world. My son Darren lived in the silence within him. Darren’s best friend, Harold, held strong for him and through it all, Ryan fought desperately and I became a voice of strength! Aunt Janet encouraged Ryan to fight right up to the day she gave up her own battle.

Ryan completed his chemotherapy in June of 1998, only a few months before Darren’s best friend, Harold, was diagnosed with leukemia!" Ryan and Darren became a source of strength for him; Harold walked with us in our battles. Ryan met others – adults and children during his treatment and during his remission. We all became a team with a large extended family.

In December of 2000, my son Darren stood at the altar on his wedding day. His brother Ryan and best friend Harold – both at this side!! Both in remission! Both full of Hope!

And when news of the Relay For Life was coming to Grande Prairie – I knew I needed to walk!!!! I needed to "carry my torch and lift it high" in honor and in memory! Team members were certainly not hard to come by – because so many family and friends wanted to be a part of the experience we made up three teams! I was faced with indecision as to our teams "theme". I just felt that all three teams were really one and that we must all have the same theme. We fought with Hope and Courage! We fought for Life! Our teams became "Walkers of Hope", Walkers of Courage", and "Walkers of Life"!

I searched for poster board, feeling unsettled and indecisive. Store after store, I searched. Until the day I found the most beautiful poster board in the colors of the rainbow!! In the back of my mind, I had felt we should use the color of "robin egg blue"… but there was none. The next day, I entered the Wal-Mart, and after turning the corner of the supplies aisle, I stopped in my tracks. I had been searching for computer paper to write the words of "My Battle" on. Right in front of me on the shelf of paper was beautiful paper in "robin egg blue"… with a beautiful rainbow across the top of the page. I then searched for nametags. There before me, in the school supply catalogue were the only adult nametags I could find in Grande Prairie or through mail order… they were white nametags with a rainbow arched across the top of them!!

I called my family and told them of my experience and it was then that I remembered the beautiful rainbow in the mountains of Canmore!! Our teams had no doubt - our theme would be the rainbow, a sign that our family was watching over us. We plunged into our plans; each trying to find anything we could in the colors of the rainbow to decorate our tent sites. We found rainbow borders to decorate the children’s wagon that my grandson, Keaton, would be pulled in. We found rainbow colored wind twirlers, rainbow pompoms, and Mother found beautiful rainbow pins attached to a bookmark… on the bookmark a bird flew through the clouds and the words beneath read: "God keeps His promises"! Little children drew pictures of "their" rainbows, happy knowing they were helping to decorate our tents…and me…I prayed for sun!! I checked the weather forecast daily as the days neared.

As I entered the Canadian Cancer Society’s office through all this, I came face to face with a beautiful donated wall painting – of a rainbow! It was on that day when I truly felt that our family would be with us on our walk… and I still prayed for a sunny day. I wouldn’t settle for anything less!I

It was finally Relay Day! Our teams gathered together struggling in the wind to set up our sites and decorate the tents with our rainbow balloon arch. The wind took the balloons and tossed them back and forth. Some of the team members had spent many days working on a large banner; they had drawn on it and colored a beautiful rainbow with a bird flying across the clouds in the sky. As the rain came down, the banner became wet!! Our banner became limp; the paint on the children’s rainbow pictures ran! In my heart, I cried! But we decided that not even the rain or the wind would ruin our walk. I continued to register team teams, holding down my wet papers as I did so.

It was time for the Survivor’s Victory Lap! It was raining but the survivors’ spirits were high! Just before the Victory Lap started, the rain ceased! I looked up to the sky in amazement! Through the clouds; the beautiful rainbow filled the sky!! I didn’t hold back tears!! Our teams gathered in amazement! I cried out to the team "there’s our rainbow!! They are with us". Cameras were grabbed to take pictures of "OUR" beautiful rainbow! I felt peace wash over me as I realized that we could never have had a rainbow if God had answered my prayers for sun.

I stood in silence for a few moments, feeling overwhelmed with love and hope. With my son Darren and my grandson Keaton, family and friends that made up our teams, we all cheered in unison as we watched my son, Ryan pushing my Mother, Becky, in a wheel chair. My Aunt Rose and Ryan’s new friend, Matt, took turns pushing Mother. THEY WERE WALKING THE SURVIVORS’ VICTORY LAP! THEY WERE SURVIVORS! I became overwhelmed with love and emotion as I looked around me, surrounded by love, family and friends! I looked around at ALL OF OUR SURVIVORS as they walked their Victory Lap. I looked up to the sky in silence and in my heart, I said thank you to my family and friends we had lost for watching over us!

It was days later that I received our teams’ miracle. One by one, my eyes pored over the Relay pictures, until I came to the picture of the rainbow! I thought of how fortunate we were to have the picture of "our rainbow" to help us forever remember. I slowly placed my rainbow picture on the bottom and stared at the next picture in my hand!! I held a picture of "our rainbow" with a bird flying through the clouds!! We had seen no birds flying through "our" rainbow that day! It was at that moment that the realization washed over me – our banner had gone limp from the rain but in reality, our family banner covered the sky above us that day!! And the lighted path I had written about in "My Battle" five years before was really the 1700 burning luminaries lighting our way around the track while we walked! The track truly was the "lighted path of footsteps that had no end!!

Millie P. Lorenz.
 

NOTE: January 2005 - I live daily with the conviction in my heart to fight the battle for a cure for cancer. Having now lost family and a friend to the battle with A.L.S., I feel that I need to fight the battle for A.L.S. with as much conviction and HOPE in my heart! May I join you in your walk?

Millie

 

 

 

 

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