Sometimes bizarre things happen to us or we get into situations that we never imagined possible, nor would we ever want to experience again. If we are living any kind of existence outside of four walls then these unimaginable events will happen. It is called LIFE! It is human nature as far as I can gather. I know all about such things you see because it happens to me quite a bit. Moving from place to place and never knowing who is who compels you to learn very quickly to keep your mouth shut until you get it all figured out. But of course keeping my verbosity at a minimum is practically impossible so I have had more than my share of such incidents.

Strangely though the moment of downright humiliation did not happen because of my gregarious nature, which my husband and offspring say should be ‘maxed out’ by now, but from wearing a shirt that I had paid absolutely no attention to and wore as often as I could because it was comfortable.

This apparel was not made by any of the name brand clothing lines because I like to live an outdoor life, and it is not sensible to wear good clothing to a ‘boil up’, on a skidoo that is tearing through alder bushes, yanking gear around a boat, or sweeping the dust off yourself after a run on the trail hanging off a bog-bike. So the logical thing to do is to visit your local thrift store and buy a whole bunch of T-shirts, and other necessary apparel. When you wear these items, it doesn’t matter if grease, flanker holes, fish hook tears or paint gets on your clothing. Your best clothing is safely stored at home and even if you lose what you are wearing it is no great loss. Meanwhile, you have supported a worthy cause. Perfect!

So back to this shirt of mine. It came from the local thrift store, was very loose, cool, and ideal for being out fishing or mowing the lawn, hiking or crawling through the woods to get a good camera shot. It was made of thin cotton and was worn quite a bit the summer that I acquired it. Little did I know that this T-shirt would embarrass me to no end in the late days of summer when it was worn almost thread bare.

But it happened, oh yes, it happened! I came home from doing the woman s’ primitive gathering of supplies, entered the house, dropped the bags on the floor, and proceeded to look for Himself. Himself is my spouse of many moons. I found him in the adjacent room talking to our local clergyman. I joined in and in spite of getting the raised brow from time to time from Himself and the Reverend blushing every time I stood up it was an uneventful visit. My husband had beads of sweat on his brow, the Reverend was as red as a tomato and I was quite oblivious to it all. It was a nice afternoon visit I thought. Soon the Reverend said he would like to say a prayer before he left. So he did, and then flew out the door and into his little car.

Then I heard a voice behind me saying "I don’t believe it, I just don’t believe it!" It was Himself.

"Don’t believe what?" I nonchalantly asked.

"What that shirt has written on it! I just don’t believe it!", he repeated.

"Well, what is it? You’ve seen it before. I’ve been wearing it all summer, so what’s the problem today?" I was a tad annoyed by then.

"I never really took a good look at it before today," he explained, "but the way you were sitting I couldn’t help but read what is on that shirt. Take it off and read what’s on it and you’ll know why the minister was so red in the face."

Well, that sounded like an order to me, so I took my good old time getting around to doing it. Such is the way I am genetically inclined!

When I did take it off, I almost crumbled right where I was standing. Written on the upper left front of the shirt where you often see a logo was written "GO NAKED AT THE TRACK! SUPPORT CO-ED DORMS!" I could not believe I wore that all summer and ran to tell Himself how distressed I was.

Himself listened to my rant, then he inquired "Did you also read what is written all across that circle on the back?"

No, I hadn’t. I held up the shirt and then I felt that feeling of impending doom. Written three times in the radius of a circle on the back of the shirt was, "YOU JUST CAN’T BEAT SCORING AT THE MEET! GO NAKED!"

So ended the lesson. I was so embarrassed that the Reverend saw me in that wacky shirt. I truly thought this was an event nothing else in my life could parallel. Why I did not read that writing, how I got through a summer and nobody brought it to my attention and how I got through the horrid humiliation is an enigma to me. But a good lesson was learned, and Himself shared many laughs at my expense as he repeatedly told our friends the story.

I managed to get through it. I usually do! As for the Reverend, I think he has long forgiven and forgotten because he got to know me better and saw me in much more befitting apparel.

However nothing can take away the palpitations of my heart, or the breaking out in cold sweat and feeling nauseous when I recall the day I truly ‘EMBARRASSED THE DIVINE’.